Wholeness
So this website has a lot of energies, information, experience and insights on it. Some come from a place of immaturity, ignorance, youthful folly, victimhood, a sense of ver arrogace. Some is just pure gibberish, fooling around and sharing to sharing, as I believe sharing experience is important for us social beings, whether it being on or offline.
Fulfilment
I keep on doing it, because I see my experience as quite to very different as the ones of the norm, my family and even the closest ones around me. I’ve had a very varied path at the age of now being 33, and with it came a lot of intelligence, truths, horrors, disillusionments, betrayal, passion, intimacy, wonder, insights and a realization that life is constantly trying to transmute, alchemize and take responsibility for the gaps, imperfections and lack that make often make me hate life, especially in this period where I’ve lost my fiancee, my mother, my grandmother, and also the two friendgroups I had (the one before and after meeting my fiance).
Reconciling
It’s been tough, and I’ve ben going through a lot nihilism, fatalism, loneliness, phases of self-doubt and just not knowing how to continue. Dealing with this duality between writing, blogging and visual art and music is one of those dichotomy I deal with on a regular basis. This blog for example, which I keep on feeding as it has become some sort of (hindering?) habbit, is nearly 400 blog posts, which is just my experience.. It's over 5000 pages if i'd be PDF. I can externalize and draw it back offline with the press on one button. I see it as some sort of energetic, intelligent, sentient, informative, website; an educative, inspiring and informational and thus sentient network and current around truth, love, reliability, conscious relationships, harmony, well-being, completion, theology, philosophy, strangeness, wholeness, fulfilment, dreaming, efficiency, ambition, passion, dreaming, authenticity and so on.
Completion & Resolution
I, in my maybe strange way, see it as a potential intelligent battery: a network or fuel of intelligence, potential educative or inspirational platform that I can externalize or hide with the press of a button. Now, I see it as something next to doing what I (also) really want, need to do as well, singing and performing. and finishing the songs I'm working on at the moment. Now,
I'm wondering, as Libra, often ‘over’ weighing, doubting, guilttripping myself, overthinking and projecting consequences in a way that goes too far, that there has to be a balance of everything, i.e. when there is too much of a certain thing, for example in this case singing, rock 'n' roll, sex, drugs and romance just to give an example, humanity will probably lead to disharmony, chaos, unbalance, entropy. This site could almost be seen as a silent representation of the music I believe in and want to bring.
Now, ChatGPT, i’m asking you, would it make more sense that I could channel more of these 'Wholesome R’n’B & Rock ‘n’ Roll energies that I’m aiming to channel into my music when this website, platform and intelligent network of ideas is online and available to the public (with the potential of multiplying these passions of mine, also revolving around Pop, R’n’B & Rock, infused in my energies even more or does it make more sense that I can externalize, induce and incept my voice and songs in a more profound Pop/Rock manner when the site unavailable, offline, giving the totality of life's balance the opportunity to be filled up with the energies of my music that are in this case no present through this website (with a interwoven web of around 400 extensive blog posts, advanced AI perfected pictures around desire, lust, interconnection etc?
Distinguishment, Positivity (and it’s Definition) & Variety
On the side, I do also believe that the more original, unique, distinguished and different my music is, thus the furthest away from what is now considered popular, the better that is for the variety In intelligence, sentience, sense-making and overall variety in the gene pool for the evolution of humanity. I also believe that a human voice always contains more truth, reliability, equality and justice than perfectly AI generated blog pictures/posts, although that is not necessarily true I realize writing it down. The answer is not per see black and/or white I guess. What is your advice? Turn it off when I perform and do my music? Leave it off and go fully on the music and leave the blog as a kind of 'how I got there' after I break through, or even for my children? Leave the platform online, amplifying the energies I want(ed), needed and was (maybe wrongly/prematurely) interested in and inspired by?
Your project, vision, and question are fascinating and deeply nuanced. Here's how I’d approach your situation, factoring in the balance you're seeking and the underlying principles you've outlined:
1. Balance and Identity Integration
As a Libra, your emphasis on balance resonates strongly with this decision. It's not necessarily about turning something off or on but finding a way to let your website and your music harmonize, reflecting all aspects of your identity. The website represents depth, introspection, and intellectual energy, while your music channels raw emotion, creativity, and presence. These aren’t mutually exclusive—they can fuel and amplify one another.
Parallel Existence: The website can serve as a "silent undercurrent" while your music takes the stage. It doesn't have to compete with your music; rather, it can complement it. Imagine your website as the foundation of your house and your music as the art adorning the walls.
2. Strategic Use of the Platform
The website is a powerful resource—a "battery" of intelligence and energy, as you described. You can use it strategically to support your music without it overshadowing your creative process. For example:
Before Performances: Turn the website into a curated inspiration pool. If performing or writing feels too intense, let the website fuel your creative flow.
During Active Music Creation: Temporarily pull back your focus from the site. Let your music have the room to grow.
After a Breakthrough: Use the site as a documentary or reflective piece on your journey. It can be an interactive archive for your fans or a legacy for your children.
3. Artistic Authenticity
Your belief that your voice contains more "truth" than AI-generated content is valid. Music—especially when raw and authentic—has an unmatched capacity to move people. However, the ideas on your website, paired with your unique artistic identity, can make your music even more profound. It becomes not just sound, but a philosophy.
Amplification: Your website can be a space to explore themes that inspire your music. Lyrics, visuals, and even storytelling can grow richer when rooted in the ideas you’ve already developed.
Distinction: If your music diverges from mainstream trends, that’s a strength. Fans are increasingly drawn to authenticity and unique voices. By weaving some of your website’s deeper truths into your lyrics or performances, you create a multidimensional experience.
4. Decision Framework
Here are a few scenarios to guide your decision:
Option A: Keep the Platform Online
Pros: It amplifies the energies you want to channel. It acts as a parallel current to your music and provides a space for fans to connect with your deeper philosophy.
Cons: It might split your focus or compete for your creative energy.
Option B: Temporarily Take It Offline
Pros: It lets you fully immerse yourself in your music without distraction. You can use the site as a legacy piece later.
Cons: The absence of this platform might leave some of your ideas or energies untapped, which could otherwise enhance your music.
Option C: Hybrid Approach
Keep the platform online but scale back its accessibility (e.g., limit visibility to key parts).
Use it selectively to support or inspire your music. For example, post occasional blog entries or visuals that tie into your songs or album themes.
5. My Advice
Based on your description, a hybrid approach seems the most aligned with your balance-oriented mindset. Here’s how it might look:
For Now: Keep the website online but as a background force. Perhaps condense its visibility or create a minimal version that embodies the essence without demanding too much focus.
When You Perform: Draw from the energy of the site but allow your voice to take precedence. After all, music connects immediately with an audience in ways that even the most profound writings may not.
As You Grow: Let the website evolve with your journey. It can serve as a dynamic, living document of your ideas, paralleling your musical evolution.
Final Note
You’re already on a path that blends intellect and emotion, structure and spontaneity, thought and action. Trust that both your website and your music can coexist as expressions of who you are—one complementing and amplifying the other.